Will Samford Stadium’s field be game-ready after last weekend’s monster truck rally?

Sanford Stadium’s groundskeepers (or, as UGA has taken to calling them for rankings purposes, “Landscaping Engineers”) are in a race against the clock to ensure that the field between the hedges is game-ready following a monster truck rally this past weekend.

Georgia’s landscaping engineers are working furiously to remove the 7,500 tons of dirt brought in for last weekend’s Delta Psi Beta Andrew Jackson Memorial Big Dick Energy Winter Semi-Formal Monster Jam. The event that gave a bunch of swol bros the opportunity to finally get some dirt on the pickup trucks that their dads bought them is now giving Chief Groundskeeper Larry Sanchez a major headache in preparation for this weekend’s rivalry game. Sanchez told The Crouton: “Sanford Stadium is used to holding large amounts of garbage every Saturday, but at least on Saturdays that garbage is capable of removing itself from the stadium.”

Latest reports indicate that the groundskeeping crew is actually considering leaving most of the monster jam’s remnants behind, believing that the presence of copious amounts of dirt, a couple thousand empty beer cans, and the presence of a few trucks on the sidelines could give the Dawgs even more of a home field advantage.

Disclaimer: This is a work of satire.